Today is our last day in Mexico, it has been a profound time of change and integration for me. Our “Way of the Sacred Feminine” retreat in Yelapa, Mexico completed over a week ago and although I wanted to share photos and my feelings about the powerful experience we all shared, yet I needed to be quiet and go within, allowing all that we summoned to silently brew.
Although Sharon and I are the “leaders” of these retreats and hold space for the women who attend, it is not possible to avoid the effects of the deep work we do with our sisters. We, too, move through the same energy they do. It can be tricky to walk the role of “Way Shower” and be in the cauldron of transformation at the same time. I have been able to find my way. I love it all, from creating sacred space to entering into the vortex of the Divine Feminine to diving into the depths of the under and upper worlds where Great Mother does her alchemy upon us, bringing sacred fire to the dark places and transmuting them to the perfect light of her creation.
This year we delved deep and sat with our inner children of various ages, giving them a voice to speak of how they felt neglected, hurt, or afraid and giving them the healing, protection and love they needed so they may be integrated into our present selves. For me this journey began even before the women arrived. My inner teenager, Kathy, can to the forefront, and she was angry! I am not really sure what was the cause of her anger as she did not reveal that to me, but I felt it and unfortunately Sharon experienced it. Sharon and I sat with her and asked her what she needed. She wanted a cigarette and tequila! And so to let her feel heard and validated, I gave her what she wanted. That appeased her somewhat, yet she was still ornery and feisty.
I woke the next morning with a huge sty in my right eye. I looked liked an alien. I went into meditation and asked what the sty was trying to reveal to to me. Eyes are fire organs according to Ayurveda. When fire is out of balance anger and rage can be present. Also we “see” with our eyes. Teenage Kathy was angry and wanted to been seen!! I tried everything to heal the sty. Hot compresses, antibiotics, Reiki, and the like, yet it remained.
When the women arrived and the inner child work began, I shared my experience about Kathy. I spoke about her in the sharing circles. She was “seen” by 15 women. It was then that the sty calmed down and dissipated on its own. My cranky mood vanished, the anger quieted and joyful, peaceful, playful Deva returned. Some of the women on the retreat even commented that they noticed Kathy left.
As I had experiences with my inner teenager, many of the women came to terms with their inner children also. Deep healing happened. We rose together in self-love. Women who were closed and shielded, opened and shone. Those who were quiet with fear of speaking or singing began to speak their truth and sing in full voice!
A true bond was created as sisters supported sisters. Unconditional love oozed as we saw one another as Ma, the Great Goddess, and as ourselves. We sat in council together, sang together, danced together, cried and laughed, gave each other a hand and lifted one another up. Family was found within the circle of sisterhood, a sacred connection of trust, acceptance and love.
Our final journey was to our goddess selves. Ma woke me in the middle of the night and gave me a goddess assignment for each women present. This goddess they were to embrace as their own goddess self and work with her attributes, wisdom and power. A sacred ritual was held to die to our mortal self and rise into our goddess self. It was truly beautiful and moving to see each woman rise in this way. A powerful experience that will forever bond each of us present.
I felt myself move into the role of Mother for this group. It was funny as I am such a child at heart. I know that the only way I can actually play this role is to step out of the way and let Divine Mother channel through me. She worked in powerful ways through me and for this I am honored and very grateful to be her instrument of love.
When the retreat was complete and the women returned to their homes, I, Deva, moved to the front as Ma was finished using me for the time being. I was disorientated and found it difficult to navigate in the 3D world. It took some time for me to ground again and find my way back to living in this realm. The vortex in Yelapa and the energetic portal we created was very real.
We existed in higher realms of existence. Each of us came back to this world in own way. Sharon and I held space for the women’s return and we are here for each of them to assist in their re-entry. Sometimes I think to call these experiences “retreats” sounds too frivolous as this is deep work, gathering the Tribe of Sisterhood back together after millennia of separation. Words can not really express what is like, only those who are present can know. I hope that each women around the globe will join us on our sacred journeys to return to their true selves and reap the beauty of what that is.
For info about future retreats and workshops go to : https://www.wayofthesacred.com/events